The next step...

It was early December. The school in which I work was crazy. Students were off the wall and teachers weren't doing anything about it. I was thinking of ways to escape the fate of being here another year, so I shot an e-mail to the University of Tokyo's International Office. There was a program in Sustainability Science that I had a slight interest in, because it was taught in English and the topic of study is pretty open-ended. Originally on the program's website, it was written that I could not apply as an international student because I was living in Japan. So I gave them a conundrum.

"Well, I'm going to leave Japan in March, so I won't be here for the other test in August... what should I do?"

It came back that I could apply as a foreigner as long as I returned to the US. So I ran with it.

I wrote the four essays they required. I wrote a research plan. Then I wrote another one. Then I visited them three days before the December 31st deadline, threw the previous two plans and wrote a third. がんばった。

But one of the letters of recommendations I requested from a professor back at he beginning of December didn't come on time. I was told by e-mail that I wasn't eligible.

A few days after the deadline past, I got another e-mail, saying that I could be eligible if the letter arrived by the 15th. It didn't. And again I was told by e-mail that I wasn't eligible.

On the 22nd, I got yet another e-mail that informed me that they received the letter, and that I was put back on the list of eligible applicants.

Last Friday, February 5th, I got the acceptance e-mail for the program. Along with it is another set of applications for the scholarship that accompanies acceptance. One of the requirements? A letter from the Dean of my college, due on February 24th.

I feel like I should be more excited about getting in, but I've had no time to yet, and the scholarship isn't guaranteed, so there's still the outside chance I won't go. I feel blank. Burned out. Being tangled in red tape hasn't been a fun experience.

Besides red tape, I'm still tangled with the idea of staying in Japan rather than going somewhere else for school. Japan is a great place to live. But there are plenty of places out there that I haven't been to yet.

February 24th will be an important day. I'll know if I'm committed to Japan for two more years, or if I'll be around for one more while I apply elsewhere.

I have learned a couple things, though:
- upper echelon schools are reachable for grad school, even if you've been out of school for a while
- waiting for things outside my control to happen sucks. A lot.

In any case, I'm ready for the result. Time for a break from limbo. Let's deciding!